Provocation
by noravei
Summary: One-shot written for the June 2017 Writing Prompt Challenge over on BetterInTexas. "I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure." Bella/Jasper. M for themes, language.
1. Chapter 1

Bella sat up in bed abruptly, confused and disoriented and feeling unbelievably turned on. A blush crept it's way up her neck and into her cheeks as she looked around the unfamiliar room, remembering where she was.

After a moment she let herself fall backward on the bed and covered her face, groaning. As embarrassed as she was, she was still six kinds of hot and bothered. It really had been one hell of a dream. Maybe she'd gotten really lucky and not made noises in her sleep, but she knew there was no hiding the emotional signature from Jasper. She allowed herself to remember it, a small smile twitching at the corners of her lips.

Until she felt her bed shaking.

Wiping a hand down her face just enough to peer out through the cracks between her fingers, she saw Jasper, shuddering with barely suppressed laughter. Something clicked in Bella's brain at that moment. The douchebag had woken her up.

"Sleep well?" he managed to get out before his laughter exploded into the room.

Bella closer her eyes and took a deep breath. She exhaled completely before drawing another. Then, she screamed, "Get. OUT!"

Jasper took his sweet time standing and sauntering from the room, snickering the entire way.

"Asshole," she muttered, knowing full well that he could hear her.

"You chose this," his singsong voice came floating back down the hall.

Bella thought there was not a single thing he could have said to infuriate her more in that moment.

-

Jasper had been right. She did choose her current situation. Technically. Not that there were a whole hell of a lot of alternatives at the time.

After Edward left, Bella fell apart. Then she learned to put herself back together. If he wanted her to live a normal human life, whatever. Fine. She could do that. So she did. As well as a teenage girl who knew about the existence of vampires could, anyway.

She even moved on, a little. Not with anyone, but just enough to realize that maybe her relationship with Edward hadn't been the healthiest. What did they have in common, anyway? With the rose-tinted goggles having been ripped off her so violently, she saw that they probably had nothing but a passing infatuation. In any situation, they definitely didn't have anything that would hold them together for all time. Clearly not on his end, anyway. And the more she looked back, the more she realized it wouldn't have lasted on her end, either.

She figured she'd just about burned the majority of her bridges with the normal kids at school, and that was fine with her. She'd been told over and over again that she wasn't normal, after all. Being dumped by a vampire and having a bestie who morphed into a giant wolf definitely gave her a reason to be the weird one. Oddly, she didn't actually wish for things to be any other way. She went ahead and wore the 'weirdo' label with a sense of pride. What the hell did those kids know, anyway?

She allowed her friendship with Jake to grow, but only so far - especially once she found out what he was. She was done with being in love with the supernatural and not being able to be part of the club. He still had his obvious crush, but she didn't lead him on or give him any reason to think he had a snowball's chance in hell.

It all worked fine in her opinion, until the day of her motorcycle crash. She'd swerved to avoid a fatass skunk in the road, only to smash into a tree. She'd come around in the hospital later on to Alice's relieved and angry face, along with a lot of bumps and bruises and scratches and a nasty headache. Until Alice had arrived, Jake hadn't left her side - and because Alice couldn't see around wolves, she'd thought Bella dead. As did the rest of the Cullen coven.

Edward went to play martyr in Italy, Bella and Alice went to save him, and after a couple promises made concerning Bella's human status, a few creepy offers rejected, some thinly veiled threats, and a whole lot of looks that made Bella wonder if she looked like a walking steak to these people, they were free to go.

On the way home, Alice had taken Bella aside and informed her that Edward was planning on asking for Bella to take him back, and would not at all like her negative response. In fact, it would be very much in Bella's interest to take the escape route Alice had taken the liberty of setting up. The alternative was death, no matter which way the chips fell. Death by Jake trying to keep Edward away from her, or death by Edward draining her, or death by the Volturi, because Edward would never allow anyone else to taste her blood, even to save her life.

She chose the escape option because she was pretty sure she didn't feel like dying painfully quite yet. It never even occurred to her to give Edward another chance.

-

"Honestly, Charlotte, what the fuck?" Bella griped, poking at her cereal. She'd managed to get past her embarrassment enough now to be angry, and Charlotte happened to be in the kitchen, so she got to hear the whole story.

"I don't know what to tell ya, sugar. He seems to get unusual satisfaction from screwing with you."

"I don't even know if it was my own dream, or if he manipulated my emotions to make me have it," she whined.

"Oh, now that I do know," Charlotte nodded seriously and leaned in conspiratorially. "See, about an hour before you woke, he started seemin' all distracted, looking toward your room and fidgetin' a lot. Eventually he made it up there, and you know the rest, but seems to me that you got under his skin. Not the other way 'round."

Bella took a bite of her breakfast, a little more aggressively than was necessary, and chewed thoughtfully while she pondered Charlotte's revelation.

-

Alice's escape plan just so happened to be an absolutely terrifying experience. During a layover, Bella had slipped into the ladies' room for a breather from her would-be murderous vampire ex, and promptly been kidnapped by an unknown ladypire.

She was bound, gagged, blindfolded and thrown unceremoniously into a backseat - a fact she could only really tell by the cushioning. Then, she'd been driven somewhere, for a length of time she couldn't determine, partially because she fell asleep. When she'd come to, it was to a grinning Jasper wiping the drool from her chin with his finger. Had she known then that he was mocking her, she might have put up a bigger fuss and tried to get out of the vehicle. Instead, she smiled at him as best she could around her gag and was glad to see a familiar face.

She assumed he'd put her back out immediately, because the next thing she knew she was waking up in an unfamiliar bed with her bonds removed and clothes changed.

Charlotte had walked right in at that point, introducing herself and talking a mile a minute. Bella later realized it was because she'd been a little nervous, but at the time it was all she could do to keep up. Charlotte apologized for the binding and gagging thing, saying she wasn't sure how far she needed to go to make it look real, so she just went whole hog about it. Then, she reassured Bella that she had changed her clothing herself - no, no, the boys didn't see any naughty bits or her granny panties. Which, by the way, Charlotte happened to know a great store for 'real' underwear, which just so happened to have free shipping online this week.

As soon as she said 'online', Bella knew they were going to be great friends.

-

After breakfast, Bella wandered outside for some alone time. She'd grabbed a random book on her way out the door, but in truth she had no intention of reading. She just wanted an excuse not to have to socialize. Some vampires around this place didn't seem to understand that their company was not always welcome.

She settled herself into a chair on the deck, opened the book's cover, and started to ponder her morning a bit more fully. Had she really affected Jasper in such a way? If that was the case, why was he being such a shit to her?

It was bad enough that she had these dreams. She had them often, actually, since she'd gotten over the shock of Edward leaving her. She shrugged it off as teenage hormones. It's not like the male participants ever had a face or a distinct voice. She was definitely the star in her nighttime mind movies. Usually, she just took care of things when she woke up like she had today. When she did, she could usually go a little while without having one. The only problem was, now she lived in a house with three super-hearing vampires, and that was pretty much a mood killer. There was no way Bella could think of that might make her alright with the idea of getting herself off knowing she could be heard - and felt.

There was also no way she was getting them to leave the house. The deal was that she not be left entirely alone until after her change, in case Edward happened to be dumb enough to try coming for her and stumble upon his opportune moment. Even in her frustrated state, she recognized that her safety was more important than an orgasm.

The struggle was real, though. She shifted a bit, trying to focus on just about anything else. The book she'd grabbed just so happened to be one of Charlotte's bodice rippers. Awesome.

-

"You're an idiot," Charlotte said, flopping over the edge of the sofa opposite Jasper. He'd been staring out the window at Bella. The length of time she was spending on that particular page didn't escape him. Nor did the feeling emanating from her.

He turned his gaze to Charlotte without moving his head, waiting for her to elaborate. He didn't have to wait long. "Just what is it you think you're doing with her, anyway? Why bother to embarrass her all the time?"

"At first, it wasn't intentional," he admitted. "Then, it was just fun and easy."

"And now?"

Jasper was silent. Peter eventually supplied, "Now, it's the only way she pays him any attention at all."

He sighed. He never really could get much past these two. "I don't know what else to do, really."

"You like her, don't you?"

"That's not even worth entertaining until she's changed, and you both know that."

"And who will be doing the changing?"

Jasper growled, and the couple fell over themselves laughing.

-

After Charlotte had swept from the room, Bella had risen from the bed to find some clothes and found a letter addressed to her on top of the dresser. She correctly assumed who it was from, and read it so greedily that she needed to stop and read it again. This was no short missive, and the information in it was both a bit of a shock and important to Bella's continued well being.

First, Alice had laid out a few strict rules for her happiness and survival. One, that she absolutely must be changed as per her agreement with the Volturi, before her next birthday. Bella had made her choice on that count in Volterra, and changing her mind now would be catastrophic on many levels. Second, that she needed to spend at least a little while human first, to let things settle in her mind and to prepare herself. If she didn't, her anger afterward would be out of control, which could lead to some very horrifying situations that Alice declined to elaborate on. And third, she was not to see or speak to any of the Cullens until after her change, and Edward for much longer after that if she could avoid it. While they did view Bella favorably, the fact of the matter was that they would side with Edward, because that is what covens did. By her choice, Bella had ensured she would never be part of that coven. Bella understood this, but it still stung. So much for being the missing piece to complete their little family.

Next, she'd given Bella a few choice nuggets of information designed to put her mind at ease about certain things. By this time, her death was already faked, no need to worry there. Alice also took the liberty of determining the balance of Bella's account, and investing that much money in a portfolio for her. Until that money grew to a size large enough for Bella to live off of, she was awarding her friend a one million dollar loan, that Alice would only accept payment on when Bella's money had grown to exceed that amount. Bella was warned not to argue with this, but the warning was unnecessary. For once, Alice had taken Bella's opinions into account and attempted to do things in a way that made her comfortable rather than like she'd just been steamrolled. She appreciated that. It wasn't like she could contact Alice at the moment to complain, or even knew the first steps to take returning the money, so even if she wanted to kick up a fuss, she couldn't. She decided to just take the gift for now as temporary payment for her current predicament.

Lastly, Alice explained to Bella the exact nature of her relationship with Jasper. Edward had told her they were mates, but that wasn't true. It was just the easiest way to explain to a teenager at the time. In truth, they had been friends and companions who scratched an itch for one another while they both waited for something better. There was a fondness there, but that was about as far as it went. And no, the reasons they separated had nothing to do with Bella, but everything to do with timing. As it happened, that timing was benefitting Bella right now because Jasper owed Alice a favor or five.

After the fourth time reading it, Bella was sure she'd gotten everything she needed out of it. She found clothes in the dresser, put some on, and stuffed the letter in her pocket before heading downstairs to meet Alice's accomplices.

-

Eventually, the light outside faded to the point that Bella could no longer pretend she was reading. She sighed, realizing that for the amount of time she'd been out here, she really should've been able to chew through two of these books. She didn't know whether the vampires inside knew that or not, but she did know that it was time to go in and face the music.

Slipping inside and pulling the sliding door closed behind her, Bella tried to be as quiet as possible. Her hope was that she could make it to her room without interruption.

No such luck.

"You do know you can't sneak around vampires, right?"

Bella just about jumped out of her skin. Turning, she found Jasper sprawled lazily across the sofa, watching her with a smirk on his face.

She was really beginning to hate that smirk. It was as alluring as it was infuriating, and even if she could trust her own feelings around him, her current state meant that...well, she still couldn't quite trust her own feelings.

"Doesn't the fact that I tried imply that I'm not up for this right now, Jasper?" She wasn't really sure where she found the words to snark back at him, but she also couldn't find it in her to care much. She was mentally exhausted from the sexual frustration, the embarrassment, and the puzzle the man in front of her presented. He had never been so forward with her before.

"What exactly are you up for, Bella?" he asked, wagging his eyebrows.

"Fuck you, Jasper. Just… fuck you," she replied, suddenly feeling bone-weary.

"Be careful what you wish for," he replied. She didn't notice the way he looked at her as he spoke. She was already exiting the room, her hand trailing behind her in a gesture that reiterated the sentiment she'd just expressed verbally.

She managed to keep it together long enough to get into her room. Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it heavily and sighed. She'd thought she'd done well handling everything up to this point, but this latest ribbing was just too much. She let herself sink to the floor, finding her forehead butted against her knees as the tears started to fall. When they did, it was as if the floodgates opened.

What had she done to deserve all of this? Fall in love with the wrong guy? Try to get over it? Stop him from killing himself over her? None of those things seemed to Bella like the kind of crimes that deserved the punishment she now faced. Her human life was already all but over, and she was facing down...well, eternity. Alone. The realization that she couldn't even really wrap her mind around that concept brought with it a crushing weight that settled in her chest.

Forever hadn't seemed so bad before, when she'd have someone to love. Someone to love her. So what if it was puppy love, if it never faded? But now...she'd be alone. Truly alone, because there was no hope of the Cullens taking her in, even if she wanted them to. And she couldn't stay here, either, she thought. She liked Peter and Charlotte well enough, but she wasn't going to hang around someone who appeared to get their rocks off humiliating her.

She knew the vampires in the house could all hear her, but she found that the knowledge only made it worse. She sobbed, brokenly and hysterically in fits, until her face felt swollen and her cheeks were raw from the salt tears and her sinuses ached with pressure. The tears didn't stop until she finally managed to cry herself to sleep, aching for something she could only define as a desperate desire not to be so utterly alone.

-

Jasper sprinted out the door into the night as soon as he heard Bella's door click shut. He had to get out of that house. Between Bella's state and the things Peter and Charlotte were getting up to, he was fast approaching a point of frustration, himself.

Once safely ensconced in the forest, he slowed to a walk. Internally, he was kicking himself. Why was it that he just couldn't seem to ever say the right thing to her? Her reaction to his - admittedly lewd - jest seemed blown just a tad out of proportion. He knew she needed time to reconcile herself to her fate, but he hadn't thought she'd lash out at him that way.

Then again, he reminded himself, he was an empath, not a mind reader. While it was often possible to deduce the reason behind someone's emotions, the truth was that he'd never been close enough with Bella to be able to do it reliably with her. He had no idea how she really thought about all of this. In fact, all he really felt from her were flares of annoyance, snippets of lust, and metric ton of sexual frustration.

So, he'd gone with what he knew. It had been a bad move.

Eventually, he found a nice rock that looked perfect for brooding. He perched atop it, turning the Bella problem over and over in his mind. It was true what he'd said to Peter and Charlotte; there was no point whatsoever in entertaining attraction to a human. Sex was...well, not impossible, but certainly not worth the effort. The idea of an actual relationship was laughable; humans didn't live long enough to make it worthwhile.

While mating was a possibility, it was...exceedingly rare, and full of complications. He'd heard of it happening, but didn't know a single vampire who'd ever met their mate in a human.

Still, she seemed to be invading his every thought, lately.

He was ruminating on this fact when he felt something that he'd heard about, but never expected. It was a pull on his psyche, splitting his focus, transporting part of his mind into what he knew could only be a dream.

-

When Bella arrived at the bottom of the stairs, she was greeted by Charlotte, Jasper, and a third vampire, who quickly introduced himself as Peter.

"Um, I suppose thanks are in order," she began, a little awkwardly.

"Not at all," Peter told her seriously.

"It was fun," Charlotte supplied. "I've never kidnapped a human before. Well, not one I intended to keep alive, anyway."

Bella laughed a little nervously at this, and Charlotte realized what she'd said. "Sorry. I haven't exactly kept my social skills very sharp."

Jasper, however, had simply looked at her, quietly assessing. His gaze made Bella nervous.

"So," she started pulling the letter out of her pocket. "What's the plan?"

"No plan," Jasper finally spoke.

"You let us know when you're good to go, and then one of us has dinner," Peter winked at her. "Until then, you're under 24/7 surveillance in case Eddie decides to come knockin'."

Seems simple enough, Bella thought at the time. She'd give herself two weeks.

-

Bella woke, blinking rapidly, trying to gain her bearings. She had been moved to the bed, a fact that didn't surprise her. In fact it hardly registered in light of the memories flitting through her mind. She'd dreamed again, and this time… this time her costar had a face. Jasper's face.

She was trying to decide how she felt about that when she stretched, and her hand collided with something hard and cold. With a sinking feeling, she turned her head, to find Jasper lying next to her. His arms were folded under his head, legs crossed at the ankles, and he was staring at the ceiling, ignoring her.

"What the fuck?" she asked him, dumbfounded and, once again, embarrassed.

He didn't react for a long moment, seemingly content to stare at the ceiling and pretend she wasn't there. She was about to repeat her question when, finally, his lips twitched, and he asked, "So, was it good for you, too?"

"Excuse me?" was the only response Bella could come up with. A thought flitted across her mind, along with a trickle of dread, but she dismissed it. There was just no way. There couldn't be.

"It's been a long time since I dreamed, but that was quite the experience," he supplied.

His words sunk in slowly, but her reaction once they did was swift. She bolted from the bed, ignoring the head rush of getting up too quickly, and pointed to the door. "Get the fuck out."

He seemed to consider it for a moment, then shrugged. "No, I don't think I will."

"Jackass!" she screamed.

He held his position, chuckling lightly. "That's hardly the most creative thing I've been called."

"I wasn't going for creativity, dickweed. Maybe Jackass Jasper, or Jasper the Jackass just has a particularly nice alliterative ring to it."

"Aww, look at the little human showing off her education," he mocked, smirking wickedly. "Call me all the names you like, Little Miss Smartypants. Pretend to be as offended as you want, abuse me in whichever ways you see fit. It doesn't change the fact that you liked it."

She flushed bright red, a fact he noted with great satisfaction as his smirk widened impossibly. "For all you accuse Edward of raping minds, you sure don't seem to have any qualms about doing it to my dreams," she told him, her embarrassment and disgust evident in her voice.

The smirk disappeared from his face and he was in front of her in a second flat, invading her personal space and trapping her so that he was all she could see, and there was no escape. "Look at me, Isabella," he demanded, quiet but intense. She turned her head and closed her eyes defiantly. "Now you're just being childish," he chastised. "You know that was a low blow. This is not the same thing, not by a long shot."

"I fail to see the difference," she insisted, choosing to ignore his characterization of her behavior. "It's sick. You're sick."

"I'm not sick, though I suppose I could be called twisted," he added thoughtfully. "There is sure as shit no cure for what ails me. As to the rest, let me enlighten you, darling," he breathed into her ear. She shivered involuntarily. "It's different in many ways, but the most pertinent to this little spat we seem to be having is the fact that I can't enter your dreams unless you call me." she squeezed her eyes shut even tighter, as if she knew this already but was finding having it confirmed immensely unpleasant. Her emotions hold him as much, and he decided to throw her a bone. "If it makes you feel any better, it doesn't have to be on a conscious level."

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious," she spat. "Can you fucking move now, or are you not finished tormenting me?"

At this, Jasper paused, tasting her emotions and assessing the situation. As much as this had amused him to begin with, he realized now, as he saw the tears that threatened to fall and sensed her intense mortification, that he had probably taken this a little bit too far. He stepped back and to the side to clear the way.

As she shoved past him in a beeline out of her room, Peter poked his head in. "Nice going, Jackass Jasper. If you wanted to win her over, I'd say that plan is going wonderfully."

Bella stormed down the stairs and found Charlotte waiting on the couch with wide eyes.

"I am so -" she started, but Bella cut her off.

"I am done," Bella announced. "Today. Change me today. I don't care how or where, but make it a surprise and make sure I never dream again."

Charlotte only nodded in understanding. Bella stomped into the kitchen to prepare herself a coffee. When it was done, she took it out onto the deck, staring hard at the trees. Jasper was right, she had liked it. But she wasn't going to subject herself to his shit every morning over it, either. She had no idea what the hell had happened that had allowed him access to her dreams, but she didn't think she could handle it if it continued. She squirmed a little in her seat, trying to ignore the tension that was building up again as she considered that possibility.

Just as she took the last sip from her cup, she felt cold hands grip her from behind and the sting of sharp teeth in her neck.

\- 


	2. Chapter 2

**You all asked for it, and you got it. Here's the conclusion to Provocation.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The change was not at all what Bella had assumed it would be.

For one thing, it hurt a whole fuck of a lot more than she'd even been able to imagine. The idea of being able to think at all, let alone to remember her human life in order to preserve the memories, was entirely laughable. She'd get what the fire decided not to destroy, and she'd be damn happy about it.

For another thing, she had somehow managed to forget - or maybe block out - how the burn worked. It wasn't instantaneous; it took a little while for the burning sensation to start to build. There was a short stretch of time in which a person could remain lucid after the bite, if they were not unconscious when they were bitten. And she hadn't been.

Not that Jasper was hiding anything. After his bite in her neck, he'd appeared in front of her, staring silently at her shocked face while she processed. Once she registered his presence and what it meant, she was slightly angry and disappointed that it was him doing this instead of Peter or Charlotte, and tensed for more taunts. Instead, with a somewhat rueful expression, he very deliberately grabbed her wrist and administered a second bite, keeping eye contact in a way that almost dared her to object.

"Why?" she'd asked him, hoping he would, for once, not be a total asshole. The sting in her neck was steadily increasing to a burn that was demanding more and more attention from her.

"It is what you wanted. I'm the oldest here, so you'll get through the change fastest with my venom," he told her quietly before biting down on the other wrist. She vaguely noticed that he wasn't actually drinking from her. There was a notion in her mind that more was going on here than she realized, or that he was telling. When she didn't respond, he continued, "I took things too far. This was the least I could do."

In some part of Bella's rapidly shrinking portion of consciousness not yet devoted to pain, she thought that sounded an awful lot like biting her was his way of apologizing. At least he knew he was twisted.

xxxxx

As soon as Bella had run down the stairs that morning demanding she be changed, Jasper's phone had buzzed.

 _Yes, it's okay now. Also yes to the other thing. Stop being a jackass._

Fucking Alice, he'd cursed, almost by reflex. Although he'd been relieved to get confirmation from her that Bella was alright to change now, he hated it when she answered questions he hadn't even bothered to consciously think of yet. And she knew it. It was one of the little things they did to annoy each other. She got cryptic; he would usually respond by causing her to have unexplained mood swings. Right now, though, she wasn't here to exact revenge on, and even if she he been, he had other shit on his plate to handle.

He knew that given the choice right now, Bella would not choose him to be the one to change her, but he didn't plan on asking her opinion about it. Peter and Charlotte both knew better than to try and get there first at this point.

He really hadn't waited for her to wake up today with any intention of things going...well, how they went. He knew the second he felt the pull into her dream what was happening, but the way he'd been to her previously, and the content of the dream she'd yanked him into, kindof made it a bit hard to broach the subject. Instead, he'd let her know in the most tactless way possible that it had been more than just her rather vivid imagination.

In fact, if he didn't know better, based on that dream sequence he would never have believed she was still a virgin.

Regardless, he knew he thoroughly deserved the name-calling and the accusations. He wasn't the type of man to just let them sit unanswered, but he recognized that he'd definitely been in the wrong in this situation. By the time he'd realized that he'd pushed a little too hard, it was too late. After all, Bella had no way of knowing just how much things had changed for him overnight.

Today, he would start fixing things by granting her wish. Hopefully she would understand what he was trying to do, even if she couldn't know all the reasons behind it just yet.

xxxxx

The burning stopped so abruptly that at first, she wasn't even sure it was really over. In the absence of pain, it took Bella a moment or two to get her bearings. She conducted something of a full-body scan, and found nothing sore or otherwise immediately awry. Then, she tried to remember the things she knew.

Her name: Bella.

The pain: meant that she was a vampire now. There was a not insignificant swell of relief in her to know that she'd never go through that again.

Once her brain had thought the word 'vampire', she knew she needn't have worried much about her memories. She was pretty sure she remembered the ups and downs of who was who and what was what. For her human memories prior...well, she remembered enough of Charlie and Renee to know who they were and that she had loved them, and that was going to have to be good enough.

When she finally felt ready, she opened her eyes as slowly as she was able. Once she had adjusted to all of the new information - she now understood why the vampires she knew had a tendency to obsess over cleanliness - she sat up.

It surprised her a little that there was no one in the room with her. She'd always had this vision in her mind of waking up to a room crowded with smiling Cullens waiting to greet her. While the thought of being surrounded with supportive family for this was outwardly appealing, Bella found herself more than a little relieved that she was given the time and space to get herself together for a moment.

Now that she thought about it, she could hear movement outside that was likely their way of letting her know where they were, when she was ready. She opted to take her damn time about it. She flexed her fingers and toes. She stretched, pleased to find that while it wasn't necessary to keep her muscles limber, it still felt good. She wiggled her toes as fast as she could, hoping she could make a blur before she realized that being a vampire meant she could now see things moving at preternatural speed. Well, that was a tad disappointing, she decided. No wonder Edward had liked to show off to her.

She spent as long as she could getting to know her new body before the discomfort in her throat grew to a level she knew meant the end of her alone time. She noticed the mirror that someone - Charlotte, she assumed - had left propped in one corner of the room for her. Her self-assessment only took a moment - long enough for her to note and approve of the upgrades, and study her now-red eyes for a moment. She thought they suited her in an odd sort of way. It was really too bad she'd have to kill people on the regular to maintain such a pretty shade - something she didn't think she was willing to do just for vanity. Maybe Char could help her with that, too.

xxxxx

Bella's change was a short one, just as Jasper had promised her. She clocked in at just over two and a half days. That was just fine with him. In fact, the absence of her beating heart made him relieved on so many levels.

Once she'd given herself over to the pain, he'd brought her inside and up to her room, and called Charlotte to clean her up and put her in something comfortable. She had a better eye for what would fit...and he didn't think Bella would be real happy with him if he did those things himself. He knew he was going to be on thin enough ice there for a while, no need to make it thinner.

The majority of Jasper's time during Bella's change was spent brooding or pacing, a fact that Peter had pointed out and teased him over until Charlotte had ripped his ear off and hid it.

He just didn't know what to do with himself. There was no helping a person through the change, despite what anyone thought. His gift might be physical, but it didn't extend to the base sensations. He had a bit of room to play there by pressing the right emotional buttons to amplify or suppress, but it would do Bella no good now even if she wasn't blocking him more and more by the hour.

He figured the last thing she would want when she woke up was for him to be there - she'd likely had enough of that lately. So, brooding and pacing it was, until they heard her heart start to speed up.

Then it was outside to wait.

With a bit of a thrill inside her, Bella raced down the steps and did her best to saunter out the back door. Slowness was something she still had to work on, but she had plenty of time for that, now.

A low whistle escaped Peter, followed by the sound of boulders smashing as Charlotte cuffed him upside the head, and Bella smirked. Jasper was watching her intently, which made her a little uncomfortable, but she wasn't putting up with any of his shit today. Today, she was going to enjoy the changes. She'd be far more equipped to handle him after she'd hunted and acclimated a bit more. Until then, the plan was just to ignore him as much as possible.

"I need to hunt, I think," she told them, noting the subtle changes in her voice. "Which way to the nearest wildlife buffet?"

"Do you want one of us to go with you?" Charlotte asked.

"No, thanks," Bella told her firmly, but not unkindly. "I need to learn to do it myself, might as well start now. Which way?"

Peter pointed north, and Bella wasted no time taking off into the woods, leaving three vampires staring after her with varying levels of awe. They let her go, but followed at a distance.

xxxxx

"Bet you're regretting it now, aren't you?" Peter asked Jasper after Bella was gone from earshot. It had been almost a month, now, and she still refused company on her hunts. She'd progressed relatively well for a newborn. More controlled than most, certainly, but she was still prone to the occasional fit of rage, and she seemed to waffle a lot between happy and morose and just flat-out pissed.

She blocked Jasper's gift entirely, something she used to her full advantage. She claimed that she had forever to figure it out, but he wasn't alone in thinking that she was probably just really enjoying dragging out her version of petty revenge.

"You have no idea," he responded. Bella was still almost flat-out ignoring him to his face, but her attitude about self love seemed to have changed dramatically since her transition. Jasper had no way to prove she did it on purpose, since she knew he couldn't feel her, but he definitely could still hear her. For his part, he tried his best to honor her wishes and stay on the periphery - out of her way but making sure she knew he was there if she changed her mind.

"Well, I'm about to help you out on that count, brother," Peter said matter-of-factly. "Got a call from a friend. Char and I have some loose ends in Mexico that need wrapping up."

Jasper groaned at the news, but he understood. Peter and Charlotte made it something of a mission of theirs to hunt down and dispose of anyone who had been involved in the Southern Wars. If he'd gotten a tip, they needed to go follow it, and fast. And maybe with them gone, Bella might actually acknowledge his presence.

xxxxx

The discovery of her shield was something of a revelation to Bella. She might not be human anymore, but a girl still had needs and as of right now she was still lacking in the department of anyone to help her fulfill them.

At first, she took care of things while off on her own, usually after hunting. As long as she didn't take too long, nobody came looking for her or suspected anything. Eventually, though, doing herself in the nature got real old. Once she learned that Jasper couldn't feel her, though, all bets were off.

She supposed they could probably still hear her from time to time, but in light of the things she heard coming from Peter and Charlotte's room on a daily basis, they really had no room to judge. If Jasper heard her… well, it wasn't as if he could give her any more rude awakenings, and if he seriously thought she was dumb enough to believe he never took care of his own needs, he'd have another think coming. She could definitely hold her own if Jackass Jasper decided to make a comeback with a comment about _her_ alone time activities.

She had noticed that he took far too many showers.

And as long as she bit her lip to keep herself quiet, nobody ever needed to know what, _or who_ , she thought about to get things going. Something she was immensely grateful for, because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to stop his face from invading her fantasies.

xxxxx

"You can't leave me here with him," Bella stated, but Charlotte shook her head.

"We have to, sugar. I know you don't understand, and I honest-to-god hope you never will, but we gotta go do this thing, and you can't come with us."

"Why aren't you bringing him with you? Isn't he supposed to be some kindof fearsome warrior god or something?"

Charlotte chuckled. "Something like that, but Jasper has his own reasons not to join us on these vendetta missions."

"Like what?" Bella asked, trying to hide her curiosity.

"I'd tell you to ask him, but it seems like you're still determined not to talk to him."

"Why would I want to talk to him, Charlotte? He hasn't said two words to me since my change, and before that he made it his mission to embarrass me as much as possible."

"Hm," she responded, eyeing Bella suspiciously. "If you're trying to fool anyone, I'd work on not jumping straight to the defensive response. I think the only reason he hasn't noticed yet is because he's flying blind without his gift."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bella insisted, so very glad she couldn't blush any longer.

"Right. Did you ever consider that maybe he's keeping his distance because it's what you want?"

Bella had no response for that. She wanted to scoff and blow the idea off. It would have been so much easier. Ignoring the possibility that he was actually being something other than a shit meant that she could safely confine him to fantasy fodder as a beautiful asshole. If Charlotte was right, then Bella's problem was much bigger than she'd allowed herself to consider.

xxxxx

Jasper watched her jump out her window and into the woods, again. It had been close to a month since Peter and Charlotte left, and she still hadn't acknowledged his presence. She was progressing well, and hardly even needed a chaperone. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that she hadn't yet been tested around human blood, he'd say she was ready to be on her own if that was her wish.

It seemed like it might be.

He really hoped it wasn't.

He had tried to think of a way to force her to notice him. To interact with him. Just speak with him. Clearly, staying in the background as a way of making amends wasn't going super well, and now he was getting a bit desperate.

He wanted the chance to apologize, to explain himself, and see if there was anything there worth saving. Knowing that he could very well have blown things before he even realized what he had felt like a weight in his gut that twisted every time she refused to spare a glance his way. It was the closest Jasper had come to remembering nausea since his time in the wars, and it was constant, nagging and gnawing and reminding him of things he would so much rather forget.

He moved upstairs, deciding to wait for her there. She usually just jumped back in her open window, and while he was loathe to invade her space again, he couldn't really think of any other way to do this. Most of her time at home since Peter and Charlotte had left was spent on solo _activities_.

He didn't know if she realized he could hear her. Perhaps she just didn't care, or even got off on it. Maybe she didn't notice the way he'd spent almost as much time in the shower, stroking himself to the memory of that dream while drowning the noise out with crashing water. He didn't know if he was glad or angry that she didn't seem to feel the same need to mask the sounds.

Jasper considered for a moment the increase in the activity lately, and wondered about the reason. Was it just boredom? Vampirism increasing her already frustrated libido? Had she carried her excited state into this life? Or was acting on her own proving not to be satisfying enough to calm the urge anymore?

He shook himself at the consideration. It was fruitless; he could hardly ask without being a total jackass. And thinking about it was making him hard all over again.

xxxxx

Bella stood over her kill, her eyes unfocused as she thought. Lately, it seemed, this was all she did. Hunting never seemed to clear her mind the way it had in the beginning. Not since Charlotte had basically taken a wrecking ball to the dam she'd built around the idea of Jasper, and then had the audacity to remove any possible distraction from his presence.

If she didn't love Charlotte so much, she'd have killed her.

When it began, it was just a way to get off. He was attractive, and not mated. It made sense to her to use him. After Char had opened her stupid mouth, though, Bella began to see things differently. And imagine them differently. Now, she was all tied up and twisted around.

First, there was the silence. She began to notice that he wasn't lurking around, so much as making himself available for her to talk to, if she so chose. If _she_ chose. He wasn't forcing her into anything. He never teased or mocked her, he never forced himself on her in any way. But whereas before she'd written it off as indifference, under scrutiny it became clear that it wasn't. He almost seemed to situate himself around her, as close as he could get without tripping her radar.

In a way, that infuriated her. He didn't seem to have much of an issue forcing his unwanted presence on her before her change, so why were things so different now? She tried to think, tried to remember something in their interactions that would give her any sort of clue. The only thing she could think of was the dream they had shared, but she still didn't know what to make of that. He'd told her she _called_ him, but she didn't know if she believed it, or what that really even meant, and the idea embarrassed her too much for her to be able to ask him.

What she did know was that her level of attraction to him seemed way out of proportion. Even if he was the only single male available, there was no way she should have thought about him as much as she did. Worse, in her mind, was that over time the images in her mind had morphed, from filling a need to much more tender sessions. Those, in turn, led her to think more about him, or what she knew of him.

With the Cullens, he had always seemed reserved, but had managed to keep up with Alice. He seemed kind and affectionate to her - so much so that Bella had been floored to find out that they were not actually a couple. She'd actually always really liked Jasper, from a distance, and she could vaguely recall having wished to know him better. Then she'd come here, and he'd become an asshole. A smug, self-satisfied asshole who had access to her feelings and used them against her.

There should be no way she could daydream about anything more than a good fuck with him, but there it was. She now had an internal library of scenarios, complete in many cases with much-too elaborate backstories.

It was really quite pathetic. Something would have to give, and soon. She knew that.

It was just that now, things had gone on for far too long for her to just stop ignoring him. She couldn't just suddenly become interested in getting to know the guy. That would make him suspicious of why, and open her up to questions she was in no way ready to answer.

For all she knew, Charlotte was wrong anyway. _Yeah, we'll go with that,_ she thought to herself as she started back toward the house.

xxxxx

Jasper was completely taken aback by this latest fit of rage. Okay, so maybe waiting in her room for her to get back was a bit of an ambush, but he didn't think she'd take it this badly. He kicked himself internally for forgetting she was still a newborn. Still, he wasn't about to become a doormat. She'd chased him from the room and down the stairs, before he remembered who he was and decided to hold his ground. He'd stopped dodging the items she was throwing at him, instead letting them break and shatter against him as he stood stoically watching her while she continued her tirade.

"Fuck you, Jasper! And fuck this! I'm fucking leaving!" she screamed, tossing Peter's flatscreen like a Frisbee. It, like all the lamps, the gaming consoles, and the knick-knacks, crumbled once it hit Jasper, showering the floor in shards of plastic and circuitry. His outward lack of response only enraged her further. "It's not like you ever wanted me around, anyway. All I've ever been to you is a source of amusement. Something to torment, and when that wasn't fucking possible, something to tolerate or ignore," she seethed.

At this, something in Jasper broke. All this time, he'd waited for her to be ready. For her to let him in, to show him even the slightest indication that his presence was not unwelcome to her. And now she was accusing him of the same thing toward her. It wouldn't stand. And there was not a snowball's chance in hell that he would ever let her leave. Not until he knew beyond all doubt that his feelings weren't reciprocated. As it stood, Jasper was now pretty confident that something closer to the opposite was true. Many years as an empath had taught him that hatred and anger were feelings borne of hurt, and hurt could not exist unless you cared first. If she was screaming at him for ignoring her, it meant that she hadn't wanted him to. And then it clicked that her shield was very possibly constantly up for a very different reason than the one she was giving them.

In a split second he was in front of her, grabbing her face in his hands and crashing his mouth to hers. Once her shock wore off, he was intensely relieved when she responded forcefully, her hands wrapping around his torso. A few seconds later, he pulled back. "Put down the shield," he demanded.

She shook her head in defiance, and he growled at her before covering her mouth with his again. If she wouldn't let him in willingly, then he'd move her focus elsewhere so she couldn't maintain the blockade. As his hand had travelled down from her face, grazing her neck on its way to cup her breast, his endeavor was successful. This was easier than he'd anticipated it would be, but he was not prepared for what happened when she did let it down. He'd known he was projecting, but he has been unprepared for the storm of anger, hurt, frustration, longing, confusion, lust, and love he felt from her. Just as she had not been expecting her shield to go down, and she reacted to a similar mix he knew he was projecting. The result was a hurricane that threatened to flatten them both, and Jasper nearly lost control.

Lowering his mouth to the crook of her neck, he grazed his teeth along her skin. "Tell me to stop," he told her, but she didn't. Instead, she craned her neck to give him better access as defiance and want flowed from her. Growling again, he moved quickly and picked her up, carrying her down the hall and throwing her on the bed before covering her body with his own.

"Tell me to stop, Bella," he told her again, even as he began removing her clothing. Again, she refused, choosing instead to help divest him of his own. It killed him to have to say it, but he forced the words from his lips, "If we do this, there's no going back."

She spared him a look before unceremoniously ripping his jeans off. "I know that. Now will you shut up?" To illustrate her point, she reached a hand around his neck to pull his mouth down to hers.

Jasper, not a man to need to be told twice, obliged with a noise that signalled the end of conscious thought for them both. Caught in the storm as they were, there was no question of taking the scenic route.

He acted without hesitation and created a new storm. This one was all desperation and unfettered need. Need to move. Need to feel. Need to touch, grab, pull. Need to hear that sound again. Need _more_.

xxxxx

"At some point, you're going to have to stop hiding from me."

Bella cringed. She knew he'd find her. It was inevitable now. Like he'd warned her - no going back.

As soon as they'd finished and Bella's ability to process anything consciously had returned, she'd panicked. She noticed the new marks they were both sporting, and knew exactly what that meant. What she did not know was how to handle this development. So, the shield went up and Bella went out the door.

She'd realized it was the wrong move only after she'd put a couple of miles of forest between herself and the house. And she'd stopped right then, opting to sit with her thoughts until she sorted it out, or until he found her, whichever came first.

At the time of his arrival, she'd gathered her wits enough to understand that Jasper was, quite obviously, her mate. It occurred to her that Charlotte knew this, which meant Peter did too. As she was wondering if and for how long Jasper had known, he showed up.

She had no response for his statement; he was right and she knew it, and there was little point arguing or defending herself right now. Instead, she responded with what was more immediately on her mind.

"Did you know?"

"Yes," he said carefully.

"For how long?"

"Since your dream."

She drew a sharp intake of breath at that news. That was months ago! Before she could react further, he asked, "Can I sit?"

She just stared at him, which he took for acquiescence. He sat next to her and reached for her hand.

"I went about everything all wrong," he admitted. "I'd like to explain."

Her mind was buzzing with questions, but she forced herself just to nod and wait for him to continue.

"For a vampire, being called into a human's dream is beyond rare. It's something of a myth. It only happens if it's our mate, and if they call for us. You obviously wouldn't have done it on purpose at that point, so there was some part of you that needed me enough to reach out and pull me to you. I didn't think through what that might have been, and I handled it extremely poorly," he said. "Once I realized, I tried to give you what you wanted. I didn't want to drive you away before you knew, or had the chance to make the choice."

She scoffed. "There's a choice?"

His posture deflated some. "There is, right up until the marking. You could have turned me away at any time until then. We'd both have been alone, but to do so now would be excruciating."

"I was alone," she told him. "That's what I was thinking about. Before I fell asleep. You were an asshole and I went upstairs and had a pity party because I thought I'd be alone for... well, forever."

"It seems your description of me as a jackass is more apt than I knew," he said. "I left the house. I didn't know."

She realized then that he probably thought she was regretting her decision, and put her shield down to show him what she couldn't with words. She took his hand as she did so, marveling at the sensation. She was happy with this, but still confused, and more than a little anxious about where to go from here.

"What do we do now?"

"I think this is the longest conversation we've ever had," he said by way of answer.

Actually getting to know the person she was supposed to spend the rest of existence with didn't seem like such a bad idea.

xxxxx

When Peter and Charlotte started the return journey from their successful mission, they were initially worried at what they might find. A blown up house, a departed newborn, an AWOL Jasper, or, maybe worst of all, things exactly as they had left them.

They were pleasantly surprised to find their fears unfounded when they arrived and found the two curled around each other rather intimately on the sofa, reading a book.

"About fucking time," Peter remarked with more relief in this voice than annoyance. "Hey...what happened to all the stuff? Where's my TV?"

Bella replied, a little sheepishly, "I was provoked."


End file.
